When my water broke on Saturday, my first thought was that I am going to miss Andre’s party. I knew Andre wanted to meet my child though, so I stayed home and focused on relaxing my body to let it do what it was made for.
at 5:10am on the 24th, Theodosia, my daughter was breathed into the world in my home, surrounded by love, into my own hands with no medical intervention.
By 8pm, she was in the hands of Uncle Andre. He said, “thank you for coming to meet me before I go” we smiled as we held each other and dear Theodosia (pronounced Thea-Doja) and our tears of joy fell. We spent his final evening reminiscing about the past, fantasizing about the future and being present to each other and the duality of life and death.
I had never felt so full and so empty as I did the day she came into the world and my empty belly contracted as I hugged Andre and the oxytocin flooded my body. Nursing our children does that, oxytocin is the love hormone. I felt it so fully in connecting with my babe and Andre. My body was physically empty, my heart was full and in only a few hours, Andre would be gone. The gravity of the situation hit me yet the peace, gratitude and perspective all helped me ground in and be strong with and for Andre.
